☼ ☼ ☼ GuyLife & The Times of India have reviewed and featured some of my videos on their platform. If you haven't already subscribed to the channel or watched the videos, please do. Many of the ideas in these videos are in alignment with the thoughts and ideas in my upcoming book "Don't Think Of a Blue Ball" published by Om Books International releasing in 2 weeks.
Isn't it amazing how so many of us have tapped into the same "source" or "consciousness" at this time, a time of awakenings.
Watch the videos, order the book, what can I say.....if you want a life you desire then stop thinking of all that you don't want!!! :) The only way to do that is to start thinking of what you do want. Don't think of a blue ball!
How to: Be a Good Boss as featured in the Times Of India and Guy Life this month - by Malti Bhojwani PCC - Professional Life Coach, NLP Practitioner, Author, trained in Ontological coaching
Times have changed. Recently, a friend was telling me how different it was to work in India again after having lived overseas. When he was away, people told him off for not saying his “please” and “thank yous" and here in India, his employer told him the diametrical opposite. He was told never to do this when the ‘staff’ does something as it their job, what they are paid to do, and hence, there is no need to be humble or grateful about it! I think my jaw dropped so low, we needed a crane to lift it! Therein, it seems, lies a cultural and a generational gap that desperately needs to be paved.
To me, this is just simple manners and politeness; this is what will gain you respect and love, which is always far more effective than “fear”
I stumbled on an article in which they made a mockery of the old bosses and mentioned their old management strategies of “divide and rule,” so that your employees can never stand up and unify to oppose you. “Never give them credit," “always give them less time than is needed to finish the job” (and then hold it against them in their appraisals) and lastly, “always make mountains out of mole-hills.”
It was funny to read but I'm aware that some people still do treat their employees in these old-fashioned ways even today. Unfortunately, if you don’t aim to inspire, lead by example, and truly wish the best of growth and success for each of your employees, you will not have a happy or healthy team.
A good boss is one who shows appreciation for each employee, seeing clearly how they contribute to his/her getting the job done. They value their employees and share the common vision and goals of the company with them. On that note, here are a few simple things you can incorporate into your 'leading' techniques for a better boss-employee relationship:
Trust not only that the employee will, but also that he is capable of delivering the job. Hence, bosses are able to delegate and give the employees enough and more information to make decisions with the bigger picture in mind. A good boss solves problems, offers feedback without pointing fingers in blame, and avoids nit-picking on petty details.
We no longer live in the days where you could whip people into doing your bidding. Remember that your employees are people with needs and aspirations just like you, and the more you care about them, the more they will care about you and your company.
Make it Fun
Make the office a fun place to be, It has been proven time and again that people are more productive when they are having fun. Support and create fun interactions and brainstorming that would engage your employees from all different areas of the business and involve them activities that unify.
Talking Up vs. Talking Down
Check if you “talk down” to your employees or whether you treat them like children. Remind yourself that they are adults and treat them as responsible ones. People often behave and deliver in the manner you expect them to--so revise your expectations upward!
Acknowledge & Appreciate
Acknowledge and appreciate good work and good effort. It is not always about the numbers; when you can see that your employee has put in his best, then let them know that you noticed and reassure them that it is not only about the results.
Coach them to see that failures are just feedback to teach them for the next time. Empower and support your employee’s growth. It is alright to point out mistakes or to offer constructive criticism as long as you are just as generous with your compliments.
Share as much information as you can about the business to “include” your employees in the common goals and vision. They too want that sense of “belonging” and when you have a team who receive fulfillment of that basic human need from the company they work for, you will have them as devoted employees for life.
Be Humble When Necessary
Be willing to admit that you don’t know everything and be grateful when an employee can either show you or do some things for you. Never be jealous or feel threatened if an employee shows how good he is--it only adds to the strength of your team!
The bottom line--remember that they too have dreams and aspirations and that if through working for you they can grow and blossom to create more for themselves, then you have been a great boss. Most importantly, remember that "with great power comes great responsibility"
How To Achieve The "Seemingly" Impossible - by Professional Life Coach - Malti Bhojwani
Understanding Your Barriers
Before we begin, it’s important that you identify your own limits and parameters. What constitutes as possible and normal, and what do you deem as impossible? Would you run 42 kms, climb Kilimanjaro or contend with the extreme cold of the Arctic? Or perhaps would you attempt to break bricks with your bare hands or scale and climb over 5’ high boards like free runners do?
I haven’t indulged in any of the above myself as yet, though I will someday soon! As a life coach, I too feel like stretching my personal limits. I am currently working with a few clients who have declared similar goals for 2012 and unsurprisingly, several of my newer friends this year are on similar paths. They say we always attract people who will lead the path forward for our own journeys into our lives--and they're right!
Based on the conversations I had with a few of my friends, I came to the same conclusion: It takes discipline, persistence, and power of mind to stretch oneself. By doing this, you would be overcoming and deconditioning fear through perseverance and practice. These are the same ingredients required to do anything that you deem “impossible” at first, aren’t they?
How Others Do It
Most of the runners I spoke to said that if they put their mind to something and achieved it, they felt as though they could achieve anything. In long runs and in climbing mountains, you are sure to hit a wall when you can’t go any further and it is painful and feels impossible and your body screams for you to stop. It will resist going on; some people will physically faint or throw up! This is homeostasis, i.e. the point where many people give up. However, someone who is determined will know that stopping is not an option, so they continue to persevere through the pain. They climb, pursue, push or run with the pain and it is this very act of alignment of body, mind and emotions that is the very essence of achieving anything else that is “seemingly impossible” in your life.
I’ve broken down how you can actually achieve this state of mind:
Nothing Is Impossible
This is the first and golden rule. Things are only impossible until someone does it. Millions of people achieve seemingly impossible tasks like running marathons, climbing mountains, and mastering kung-fu.
In Feb 2012, 25-year-old Kyle Maynard, a quadriplegic, climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. This is an icy, 19,340-foot climb that has challenged the most hardened and seasoned of athletes.
As performing arts enthusiast Darshan Dave so aptly says, “Every time we go to break a brick, we have to tell ourselves it is possible; every time a traceur attempts to do a precision jump over 6-inch broad bars over a distance of 5 feet or more, he has to tell himself that it is possible. That’s the first step.”
Where Is the Impossibility?
I decided that readers might be more willing to accept the possibility of all of this if it came from real people who have actually managed to accomplish ‘impossible’ feats. Read these quotes and real-life experiences and I guarantee, you will be inspired to infuse your own life with some will-power and determination!
“The impossibility is only in our heads. If you tell yourself you can do something and you envision yourself doing it and then you align your mind and body and energy to that one task, there should be nothing to stop you from achieving that task. And when I say align your mind, body and energy, I do mean you train aptly and sufficiently to achieving your goal. To do the impossible begins with believing it’s possible." - Mountaineer & Marathoner, Akash Loungani, Dubai.
Vanessa Hendriadi, Indonesia, said she was not much of a runner, or to be more precise, she hated running. Her excuses were the common, “I go to the gym regularly, why do I need to run?” “I have flat feet,” and “I am not built to run." Just last month, she ran through the finish line of a 42 km marathon in Hong Kong.
“24 km to go. How should I motivate myself? From kilometer 24 to 38, it was all a mind game. I found a way by dedicating each kilometre to a person that I love or an intention I set for myself. I wanted to stop and walk countless times, but I tried to keep my focus, one person and one intention at a time. I used that focus to tell my legs to keep stepping forward.” All that my blurry eyes could see was the “FINISH” sign as if it were right in front of me. Crossing the line, I felt like a new person who could overcome anything. I am now a marathoner!" - Vanessa
Darshan Dave explained further. In parkour, discipline is imperative, whether you are climbing over a wall, jumping off one, or scaling over a ledge or a ditch, the ability is developed by both unconditioning and disciplining one's mind and body. The body can only overcome when the mind says it is possible and that takes endless practice. Then there’s the progression & practise, meaning you start with conditioning your body and unconditioning your mind. Your mind is preprogrammed to resisting it, deeming such movement “impossible,” so it takes the body and the mind time and repetition to reprogram itself into believing it is indeed possible, and hence being able to actually do it progressively.
“Surely, you don’t get it at the first try and so this is when discipline and solid belief come into play by repeatedly doing the same action hundreds and even thousands of times in the right manner before you actually get it. The ease, effortlessness and the grace in the movement of a true martial artist and a traceur is a result of all the effort that he puts while practising. The result is directly proportional to the right effort with a disciplined mind.” -Darshan Dave
“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” -Henry Ford
Conquering the Impossible in Your Life
So what “impossible” feat are you going to commit to conquering this year? All you need to do is decide that it is possible and you are on your way. And remember, when you spend your life turning more and more “impossibles” into achievements, you will find that nothing is really impossible so long as you have a compelling desire and solid belief. It is those two things that will ensure you put in the devotion and discipline needed to overcome anything and achieve any feat!
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