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Jumpstart your love life - As Featured on Yahoo India by Sayoni Sinha

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Jumpstart your love life


By Sayoni Sinha - featuring Malti Bhojwani - | Yahoo India – Fri, Jul 15, 2011 6:33 PM IST


You have just been introduced to this gorgeous cousin of your friend. She seems friendly and you want to ask her out for coffee. "Be cautious in your approach as most women have been trained, especially in India to treat any approach firstly with dismissal," says Life coach Malti Bhojwani as she takes you through a scientific way of approaching women.


A behavioural science developed in the '70s, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) studies how people conduct themselves in different situations. The founders discovered that people achieve best results with the application of a few selected techniques which is now called NLP. These techniques have been used across industries and now you can apply them too.

Getting started:


Before you head out to meet women, you need to be very clear about your intended outcome. One of the pillars of using NLP is to have a clearly thought out desired outcome in mind. If you want to get a few phone numbers, meet someone you can chat with and start dating, pick up someone you could sleep with urgently, whatever it is you are thinking, you will be giving out and on some level, the women will pick up on it.


Get connected:


Once you have got her attention, build a rapport.

Rapport is a feeling of being comfortable with someone and trusting them. Build instant rapport by mirroring. Always stand next to her, approach her from the side, you want to be on "her camp" on her side, comment on the other guys in the room and girls as if you too are a spectator Speaking at a similar speed, and using a similar amount of gestures. Listen and let her lead the conversation. For a woman, having deep communication and being understood is a huge sexual turn-on, and this is why mirroring works so well in attracting them to you sexually.



Touch therapy:


Test early in the conversation if you can touch her. Start with the top of the hand and even the elbow or the shoulder; offer your hand when walking through uneven steps or a crowded room….if well received you can put your hand on her waist or the small of her back lightly. When she laughs, touch her hand or elbow, do this a few times and you will be able to elicit her to laugh or at least smile later when you fire the same trigger




At the end ask for what you want. Suggest going somewhere else together, a coffee shop, or to met the next day? Use the Double Bind" where it appears like you are giving them two choices, but you aren't. "I want to dance with you, shall we dance on the floor or right here?" I am going to buy you a drink, would you like a glass of wine or vodka?" We are going to get to know each other, are you going to give me your number or add me on facebook now?


Better luck, next time:


Don't give up too early. Learn to change your perspective or paradigm. This is the NLP technique called the "Reframe". This is more about what you are thinking and saying to yourself in your own head rather than anything else. Women are going to "pick up" of your vibrations before anything else. Remember that when using NLP, there is no failure, only feedback, so if you don't come out without your desired outcome, look at the evening's events as "feedback" and learn what you can do differently next time!

Malti Bhojwani is the founder of Multi Coaching International, a Life Coach, an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioner and an author. For more information, visit or Email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it



To read the article on Yahoo India:





Thank you for all your comments.


When talking about love and human relationships there are so many facets involved. NLP is just one way of helping you to “break the ice” and try to connect with another person effectively. NLP should not be used to manipulate but rather to help ease the communication between people who want to communicate in the first place, in a way that is ethical, ecological to all concerned. No it won’t work on everyone. The basics have to be present to start.


If you are interested in a few more thoughts on love and relationships, please read:


How to keep her satisfied part 1 & 2 as featured on on:


Last modified on Sunday, 17 June 2012 02:12

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