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Thursday, 18 Apr 2013

Motivation & Living Your Best Life (8)


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Life Coach Says "Sleep In Peace & Wake Up With Joy"


Excerpt from upcoming book yet to be given a title and a cover.


You can even Plug In when you sleep

Sleep is another way to Plug In. Connect every night before you sleep, start a ritual, writing in a gratitude journal is a great way to end your day and open your mind to positive thoughts. Say a prayer and ask for answers before you fall asleep. Imagine you are holding in your cupped left hand a bright yellow ball, and before falling asleep visualise all your heart’s desires in that ball. And then imagine the ball dissolving into you palm and the yellow liquid spreading all through your hand, arm, and body. You would usually fall asleep before you can even get to that part.


Watch the video for more on sleeping in peace.


kankusta duo

How To Achieve The "Seemingly" Impossible - by Professional Life Coach - Malti  Bhojwani


Understanding Your Barriers

Before we begin, it’s important that you identify your own limits and parameters. What constitutes as possible and normal, and what do you deem as impossible? Would you run 42 kms, climb Kilimanjaro or contend with the extreme cold of the Arctic? Or perhaps would you attempt to break bricks with your bare hands or scale and climb over 5’ high boards like free runners do? 

I haven’t indulged in any of the above myself as yet, though I will someday soon! As a life coach, I too feel like stretching my personal limits. I am currently working with a few clients who have declared similar goals for 2012 and unsurprisingly, several of my newer friends this year are on similar paths. They say we always attract people who will lead the path forward for our own journeys into our lives--and they're right!

Based on the conversations I had with a few of my friends, I came to the same conclusion: It takes discipline, persistence, and power of mind to stretch oneself. By doing this, you would be overcoming and deconditioning fear through perseverance and practice. These are the same ingredients required to do anything that you deem “impossible” at first, aren’t they?

How Others Do It

Most of the runners I spoke to said that if they put their mind to something and achieved it, they felt as though they could achieve anything. In long runs and in climbing mountains, you are sure to hit a wall when you can’t go any further and it is painful and feels impossible and your body screams for you to stop. It will resist going on; some people will physically faint or throw up! This is homeostasis, i.e. the point where many people give up. However, someone who is determined will know that stopping is not an option, so they continue to persevere through the pain. They climb, pursue, push or run with the pain and it is this very act of alignment of body, mind and emotions that is the very essence of achieving anything else that is “seemingly impossible” in your life. 

I’ve broken down how you can actually achieve this state of mind:

Nothing Is Impossible

This is the first and golden rule. Things are only impossible until someone does it. Millions of people achieve seemingly impossible tasks like running marathons, climbing mountains, and mastering kung-fu.

In Feb 2012, 25-year-old Kyle Maynard, a quadriplegic, climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. This is an icy, 19,340-foot climb that has challenged the most hardened and seasoned of athletes.

As performing arts enthusiast Darshan Dave so aptly says, “Every time we go to break a brick, we have to tell ourselves it is possible; every time a traceur attempts to do a precision jump over 6-inch broad bars over a distance of 5 feet or more, he has to tell himself that it is possible. That’s the first step.”

Where Is the Impossibility?

I decided that readers might be more willing to accept the possibility of all of this if it came from real people who have actually managed to accomplish ‘impossible’ feats. Read these quotes and real-life experiences and I guarantee, you will be inspired to infuse your own life with some will-power and determination!

“The impossibility is only in our heads. If you tell yourself you can do something and you envision yourself doing it and then you align your mind and body and energy to that one task, there should be nothing to stop you from achieving that task. And when I say align your mind, body and energy, I do mean you train aptly and sufficiently to achieving your goal. To do the impossible begins with believing it’s possible." - Mountaineer & Marathoner, Akash Loungani, Dubai.

Vanessa Hendriadi, Indonesia, said she was not much of a runner, or to be more precise, she hated running. Her excuses were the common, “I go to the gym regularly, why do I need to run?” “I have flat feet,” and “I am not built to run." Just last month, she ran through the finish line of a 42 km marathon in Hong Kong. 

“24 km to go. How should I motivate myself? From kilometer 24 to 38, it was all a mind game. I found a way by dedicating each kilometre to a person that I love or an intention I set for myself. I wanted to stop and walk countless times, but I tried to keep my focus, one person and one intention at a time. I used that focus to tell my legs to keep stepping forward.” All that my blurry eyes could see was the “FINISH” sign as if it were right in front of me. Crossing the line, I felt like a new person who could overcome anything. I am now a marathoner!" - Vanessa

Darshan Dave explained further. In parkour, discipline is imperative, whether you are climbing over a wall, jumping off one, or scaling over a ledge or a ditch, the ability is developed by both unconditioning and disciplining one's mind and body. The body can only overcome when the mind says it is possible and that takes endless practice. Then there’s the progression & practise, meaning you start with conditioning your body and unconditioning your mind. Your mind is preprogrammed to resisting it, deeming such movement “impossible,” so it takes the body and the mind time and repetition to reprogram itself into believing it is indeed possible, and hence being able to actually do it progressively. 

“Surely, you don’t get it at the first try and so this is when discipline and solid belief come into play by repeatedly doing the same action hundreds and even thousands of times in the right manner before you actually get it. The ease, effortlessness and the grace in the movement of a true martial artist and a traceur is a result of all the effort that he puts while practising. The result is directly proportional to the right effort with a disciplined mind.” -Darshan Dave

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” -Henry Ford

Conquering the Impossible in Your Life

So what “impossible” feat are you going to commit to conquering this year? All you need to do is decide that it is possible and you are on your way. And remember, when you spend your life turning more and more “impossibles” into achievements, you will find that nothing is really impossible so long as you have a compelling desire and solid belief. It is those two things that will ensure you put in the devotion and discipline needed to overcome anything and achieve any feat!



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Sunday, 08 April 2012 18:57

What Do You Value Most?

Published in Motivation & Living Your Best Life Written by Malti Bhojwani


Excerpt from book:


Values are the things that matter most to us, while Security, Status and Patriotism may be highly important to you Freedom, Adventure and Money may be more important to another. This is why you often have friends say to you, “I found a better job,” Better than what? Better in pay or in status and security? or, “I am moving to France for a better life,” What’s a better life? Better in what sense? or, “Why are you with her, you can find someone much better,” Better looking? From a better family? More educated? Part of what determines that which is “better” for us or not is our values and of course, our personal desires and our past experiences.


We already have our values, they are intrinsically built into us like an internal compass, so the shortest way to discovering what they are, is by looking at our major decisions in the past. Another way of doing this is to look at a list of prescribed or common values. I have listed a few of the more common ones below for you to have a look at.


If the ones you are looking for are not there, please just add them. Also the more extensive your vocabulary is, the more specific you can get with your value list, but the aim is not to be verbose but rather to pick the top ones that truly matter to you.




Look at the list of values below and pick ten that are most important to you and circle them. Once you have done this, reduce that to five, and then to three. Three top values are all you need to help you navigate through your life together with your desires, your personal declaration and your intuition.


I found that I was able to group many of my values under one main value, and in that way I was able to feel complete with my top three. To me, Family, Friendship, Spirituality and Compassion all fell comfortably under Love. And Success, Abundance, Luxury fell under Freedom. And Adventure, Pleasure, Variety fell under Fun.


Once you have your list of 10, 5 and 3, keep them safely. You will be able to see how your life has always already been guided by these values. Choosing three does not mean that the others are not important, however, having three top values will make it so much easier for you to navigate.













Personal Growth



















































Global view




Hard work
















Inner peace










If you would like support in clarifying your values and more, scroll down to book yourself a power coaching session with Malti herself for $180. Her years of experience and extensive training will create the space needed for her to ask you some powerful questions in order to serve you in creating the awareness needed to navigate smoothly and proactively through your life.

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When you can find your center, the center of your body, your thoughts and emotions and your language, you can revolve around your own axis. When you revolve your life on someone outside of you, you lose your own alignment.

Just as the earth revolves around its own axis daily and through this eternal gentle revolving, it also revolves around the sun, if you don’t find your own axis and you don’t gently revolve around it, you cannot be for anyone. – Malti Bhojwani -  2012

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

If I am not for others, what am I?

And if not now, when? - Rabii Hillel


Now is the time. Seize it, Claim it! 2012

How to Center?

Ø Close your eyes. Sit in an open body position, feet flat on the floor. Palms open and upwards on your thighs.

Notice the fabric of your pants or the feel of your skin....notice the feel of your feet on the ground. Close your eyes softly, relax your eye-lids, balance your head on your shoulders, not leaning forward or backwards,relax your shoulders.

Ø Breath into your Dan Tian (2 inches below your navel), in and out. Place your left hand on your belly and imagine your breath flowing into there, imagine the center of your belly in depth and in width, imagine the spot that is equidistant from your front, back, left and right. This is the center of your BODY.

Ø Accept things as they are, all your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings, put everything else aside.  They are already in the past. Accept them, don't change or resist, just accept your emotions. Acceptance is the center of EMOTION

Ø Silence. Imagine that is it silent all around you, quiet. Silence is the center of LANGUAGE

Ø All you have to do now is notice your breathing and notice the 3 centers – your body, your emotions and your language.

Ø Open your eyes. You are centered. You are now in neutral...from here, your choices increase. You can "go" anywhere from here with grace and with ease.

Practice this often and do it anywhere, you can practice centering standing up, anywhere, before you go from one meeting to the next, from work to home, from one call to another.

We say practice because there is no being centered all the time, you go off-centre and you come back when you notice it. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or disheveled, confused or annoyed, overly excited or concerned, you are off-centre, so just take 2 minutes and centre! Just notice and make the conscious effort to come back to center again and again and again.

Our claim is that it has to be “embodied” before it can be really useful in your life.

Remember that learning is not the acquisition of knowledge; rather, it is practice plus time.

In other words, knowing about centering is different than centering itself. Knowing about cycling or driving is different from actually riding a bike or driving a car.


Centering exercise derived from the BEL Model - Newfield Network.



In case you missed part 1 of her series, read that first before you proceed to the rest of Malti's tried-and-tested tips on how to motivate yourself.


Getting Uncomfortable to Get Ahead


We all have excuses and reasons to feel "out of it" some days. We are affected by our moods, the weather, the tide, the moon's phases, planet alignments, what we ate or drank that day, whether we heard from the girl we’re infatuated with, our weight, the stock market, the traffic or even a pimple! Everything affects our mood, but it is important to stay focused on what we want.

All in all, it is normal to feel a little low and out of it sometimes. It’s just means it's time to shake things up a bit. When you are feeling bored and complacent, you need to do that little bit more and get uncomfortable. Changing your surroundings or the way you do things is a great way to stimulate your mind to come up with more ideas. It's like a muscle that needs to work a little harder; you just need to kick it into gear so it can starting firing the neurotransmitters that stimulate creativity.

Drive a different route to work, wear your watch on the other hand, or even try eating or texting with your other hand. Make efforts to meet different people, approach the ones that make you uncomfortable, or strike up a conversation with a colleague that you have never spoken to. New conversations and new paths give you the opportunity to turn off your own mental chatter, which thrives when things are “normal." This will force you to relate, see and think differently.


Comfort is Your Enemy


When you are too comfortable, you have probably already achieved many of your desires and goals, and you are so used to doing the same thing week in and week out that there is no motivation to deviate from the routine. At work, when you are only doing what comes naturally and what is expected of you in order to “get-by,” you are not stretching yourself and definitely not growing.

I see "discomfort" as an opportunity.

Often when I feel a little uncomfortable or lazy to do something that rationally I know could be good for me, I know that I need to stretch myself. We only grow when we break out of our comfort zones. Just like at the gym, you know that only when an exercise is a little hard to do that you are actually working the muscle.

Another example is going for a run even when it's drizzling or overcast. This means that your commitment to staying fit and healthy is much stronger than your need to stay comfortable and dry at home. You are not letting excuses run your life!


What You Resist the Most is Often the Best Thing for You

If it's too easy to do and you are too comfortable, you are still only staying within your comfort zone. This is a sure sign that you are not stretching yourself and therefore, not growing. On the other hand, if you find that you come up against some resistance to do something everyday (within reasonable limits, of course), then that's exactly the thing you ought to be doing.

For example, I often dread getting dressed up and going out on weeknights for networking evenings. But I know that they will enhance my work life, not to mention I might meet interesting people. In fact, every time I have ended up at an event that I previously resisted going to, I have met at least one person who has enriched my life either through the conversation we've had or the work they do. My point is, what I resist most is what I need to do in order to not be complacent.

So get uncomfortable and stretch yourself!

Note: We all have different pain and comfort thresholds. Pay attention to your instincts. If something feels wrong, too hard and too painful, check to see if maybe it is wrong, dangerous or unwise for you to do it.

Ask Malti a question and check out the other experts Guylife has on board to answer your queries.


to read this article and Part 1 on

Or: and click on Blog




Seeing Progress


It’s important to educate yourself before being successful at anything. There are two types of motivation: 'towards' and 'away from'. The former involves motivating oneself to move towards a desirable place, while the latter involves situations where one is desperate to distance oneself from, or get ‘away from’ an undesirable place. For example, trying to work towards a promotion would be ‘towards’, and attempting to quit smoking or lose weight would be ‘away from’ motivation.


Both these techniques work, but 'towards' motivation lasts longer and is empowering as you are focusing on what you want rather than what you don't want.


Step One: Declare Your Wants


Envison this. I ask you not to think of a blue ball, yet the first image that pops into your mind is one of a blue ball! It's basically impossible to avoid thinking about something without thinking of it first. Therefore, you should realize that your thoughts will always work towards bringing what you think about the most into your reality--even if you are thinking about not wanting that particular thing or state of being.


And so we come to the first step: always declare what you want. This is usually simple, because it is most often the exact opposite of what you don’t want.



Why This Works


For 'towards' motivation to work, you have to be able to see and monitor your progress. If you feel like you are working very hard and running very fast, but it still looks like everything around you is the same, you will feel a bit like a hamster running in a wheel, only to come out and see that it hasn't moved at all. This can be extremely demotivating.


So what can you do to access your progress?



Step Two: Track Your Progress


-Pick three things that you want to achieve in the next three months. Break these into small tasks that can be achieved on a daily basis and will ensure that you reach your ultimate goal. For example, if you want to increase your client base from 20 to 30 in three months, you need to add about 3 every month. Break that down to include some strategies that you have used in the past that have clearly worked and can be done daily.


-Set up a timetable and a daily checklist. Work through it and tick the checklist when you have completed each task. The idea is to form a daily routine that will keep you on track to getting where you want to be.



Why This Works


What you are doing here is making your progress measurable. This will surely boost your confidence, which in turn will motivate you as you will see yourself getting closer to your goals.


It's Not Easy


In conclusion, I would like to make it clear that all of the steps above are easier said than done, yet entirely possible.


“I started learning to swim recently and my instructor made me wear flippers. They were great, because they helped me move really fast. When he finally got me to swim without them, I felt so incompetent--like I was not moving at all--that this disheartened me. I needed to SEE that I was indeed moving. So he got me to look at my reflection in the window and reminded me to turn around and look back to see how far I had indeed traveled.”


Getting and staying motivated to always keep growing, learning, and evolving is easy as soon as you have your desires clear in front of you.


When you know what you want out of your life, what experiences you want to taste, what you want to do for the people around you, and what you want to enjoy yourself, you will be able to dangle that carrot in front of yourself and keep the 'towards' motivation activated.


Seeing progress, however small at first--from ticking the checkboxes to seeing the weight go down on the scales--is visual evidence that you are indeed making headway. Plus, you’ll enjoy the small benefits of completing all these little tasks--and they do all add up!


If you find it challenging to do this yourself, declare your desires to a friend, or better yet, a coach. Then have them hold you accountable to do the things you need to every single day in order to ultimately have what you want. Follow these simple steps and you'll be on your way to achieving everything you've ever dreamed of!



Watch out for Part 2 of Malti's post, featuring even more tips, on Saturday the 30th of July.



In the meantime, ask Malti a question and check out the other experts Guylife has on board to answer your queries.


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